Pregnancy After Loss

Now that I can finally talk about my pregnancy and everything is all out in the open I thought it would be very important to write a blog post about the emotional roller coaster that has been my second pregnancy within 6 months and forth pregnancy in 4 years. I never thought a miscarriage at 11 weeks would affect me so much but it definitely has changed how I view pregnancy and my own body. I am sure hormones from pregnancy, postpartum, breastfeeding, not breastfeeding, postpartum period, miscarriage and ovulation play a big role in all of this. It is tough to be a woman, everything we go through is absolutely incredible and I would love to see a man go through it. That would be very comical to me.

I found out I was pregnant with baby Salem after we returned from our anniversary trip to Las Vegas. I had a sneaking suspicion I was pregnant because I was feeling so sick, I couldn’t without feeling nauseous or throwing up and I just wasn’t feeling myself at all. I took a test when we got back and sure enough I was 5 weeks pregnant. it was a whirlwind of emotions when I found out. Less anxious in some ways because the timing was way better than the pregnancy I had months prior but more anxious because I was terrified at the thought of losing this baby as well.

The symptoms hit me like a truck shortly after. Nausea, exhaustion, headaches, dizziness. Definitely the hardest pregnancy I have had to date. I could hardly eat, I couldn’t focus on writing or my business, I could hardly bring myself to be any type of mother, we sat on the couch and watched a lot of movies in those first few weeks. I was taking it day by day and basically just trying to survive at that point. My mind was all over the place. I was going through so much physically but also mentally. Taking pregnancy test after test to make sure my line didn’t disappear, it didn’t and got stronger each time. Terrified to use this washroom for fear of seeing blood. Terrified of every twinge, cramp and different feeling I got. Terrified to be intimate with my husband because that was basically how my bleeding started last time. I did take solace in the fact that despite how bad I was feeling my strong symptoms were a sign that I was very much pregnant and continued to be pregnant.

I was lucky enough again to get a midwife for this pregnancy. Again excited to go this route rather than traditional OB care. I made it to my first appointment. Was 11 weeks pregnant and very anxious to hear a tiny heartbeat. I was disappointed to not hear one and felt my anxiety peak. I needed to hear confirmation that my baby was okay. My midwife took pity on me and set me up for an early ultrasound so I could get confirmation all was well. Unfortunately I had to wait another 3 weeks for this appointment. At 14 weeks I was finally able to see our baby. See its heart beat, see it very visibly looking like a baby and see it wiggling around. A sense of relief flooded over me and I felt like I could breathe for the first time in weeks. We got into Babymoon when I was about 16 weeks and low and behold we found out we are having out our third boy! I was shocked because of how different I was feeling I thought I would for sure be having a girl. But also deep down I kinda knew I would have another boy. But either way what a joy to have 3 boys and a healthy baby! 3 brothers and the best of friends to grow up with. I couldn’t be more thrilled to officially be a boy mom for life.

The anxiety hasn’t dissipated. I have my 20 week anatomy scan in a week and a half and I think once I get the results from that I will finally start to feel as though I can maybe relax. The reality is though that there is no safe zone when it comes to pregnancy and even after that baby is born there are still so many risks. However as each week goes by the risks do go down. It doesn’t change my mixed emotions. I still miss and mourn the baby I lost. I won’t lie and say I was hoping for a boy, I have always wanted a daughter. I think about the baby I lost being a girl and I try to steer clear of those thoughts because it takes me to a dark place. And makes me feel immense guilt for a multitude of reasons. Blaming myself for what happened even though that thought is preposterous. There was nothing I could done and nothing to to prevent that type of outcome. My own guilt for my feelings over my loss and hopes for a girl meanwhile being so grateful to experience another healthy pregnancy and being grateful to have a healthy child period. And I am a damn good boy mom, I know what I am doing and I love this baby more than i can put into words. Like I said it’s been a roller coaster. I miss that blissful ignorance I felt towards pregnancy before my miscarriage. That feeling of safety and security. I wonder if the anxiety will ever really go away with this pregnancy. Part of me knows it won’t until I have our boy safe in our arms.

I feel a sense of judgement from the world for having 3 kids and 4 pregnancies within 4 years. It doesn’t really bother me that much because I am so happy with our life and if you knew us you would know that we have always wanted a big family. I feel a sense of purpose being a mother and pouring everything I am into these little boys to become the best versions of themselves they can be. Call me old fashioned for wanting to stay at home and be a mom but you can’t call me that old fashioned considering I practice tarot and witchcraft HAHA! I am the modern day stay at home mom. Very much modern with an open mind to how I want to raise my kids. Don’t tell me “you have your hands full” I am very well aware my hands are full but so is my life and my heart. I realize that judgement is a normal part of life but next time you see a mom walking around with 2 or 3 littles, offer her a smile or words of encouragement rather than “oh you’ve been busy” or “oh your hands are full.”

We are so excited for this little rainbow. After the year we have both had he couldn’t come at a better time. A tiny little blessing to complete our family. The beauty of a rainbow doesn’t nullify the devastation of the storm. When a rainbow appear it doesn’t mean the storm never happened. What it means is that something beautiful and full of love, light and joy has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Salem is our little rainbow and with him comes a whole slew of other really amazing things to come for our family. We have discussed this being our last child many times. Jesse is perfectly content with 3 and to be honest I am as well. There is that part of me that still yearns to have a daughter. But then I would probably end up with 4 boys HAHA. Which would not be a bad thing at all and actually I was recently told in Chinese culture having 4 boys in a row signifies good luck. The good thing is I am still young and have time to decide if I am truly done. We will see in thee future. But in the mean time we definitely plan to take a break on having kids and just enjoy the time with our three boys and all the good things to follow. I just want to say that if you are struggling with feelings of anxiety of pregnancy after loss you are not alone and the feelings you feel are very normal. I am almost halfway through this pregnancy so I can only speak on my experiences thus far. Just take it day by day and get through it the best you can. Do whatever you can to survive and above all take all the self care you need to get through it.

Full "Frosty" Moon in Taurus

Tonight and leading into tomorrow morning early there will be a full Moon. You can see her in all her glory tonight and I am sure most of you have seen her the past few days. She is stunning and takes my breath away each time. Tomorrow morning at 7:34am she will be at her peak fullness. Get out there and soak in some of those gorgeous moon rays tonight. Known as a “Frosty” moon because for obvious reasons this is typically the time of year when the first frost and snow would occur. As Winnipeggers we are all too familiar with this. In the sign of Taurus, ruled by Venus the planet of love and beauty, there is going to be an emphasis on relationships, beauty, money. For taking the time to slow down and fully enjoy the present moment. There will be an illumination involving security and self worth. And a light shone on your own sensuality and sexuality. Don’t be surprised if you have to deal with finally facing toxic relationships that you have been stubbornly holding onto. The Moon will also be trine both Saturn and Pluto which allows even more of a sense of security, stability and support. As well as this trine we also need to consider that Mercury will be conjunct the Sun. This marks the halfway point of Mercury Retrograde and oh boy, I know it’s been a doozy for plenty of people. What themes have come up during this retrograde for you? Mercury conjunct Sun is a fairly rare transit and one that has been photographed beautifully by several amazing photographers. If you get the chance I would definitely recommend checking out the photos because they are incredible. This is going to be a really good time to let go of toxic/negative aspects that are affecting your life. The date is 11/11, you still have a few hours for some powerful manifestation. Use this energy to release the things that are no longer serving you and be sure to check out my blog post on how to perform a full Moon in Taurus Ritual and what themes to focus on. Use this to set goals for your own finances, your own wellbeing, take time for self care and do something romantic in your relationship.

As always full Moons signify endings and new beginnings. Light is shed onto things that have been hidden in the shadows and depending on what sign it is in incredible transformation. It is also a time of heightened emotions. Be cautious of your reactions because you may act or think irrationally. This is a good time to use crystals to keep you grounded, balanced and steady. Some crystals you can use are Labradorite, Rose Quartz, Jade, Moss Agate, . This is also an amazing time to do a full Moon ritual which month by month I will be posting on how to perform one. We perform full Moon rituals to release and let go of toxic and negative energies and feelings. It is very therapeutic and if you can get 4 in your group, Earth, Air, Fire and Water you are a force to be reckoned with. Full Moons are also a time of deep healing and can be overwhelming. Take the time to rest if you need. People often find they are either insomniac or extra sleepy during full Moons. If you are feeling tired or not well definitely take the time to rest and recuperate. Happy full Moon friends and remember to take this time for yourself whichever way you plan to.

Lastly I just wanted to also include a little tidbit on eclipse season. There is an eclipse that is coming up in about a month and a couple weeks. We are almost in it’s shadow and are going to be feeling it’s affects coming up very soon. A solar eclipse in Capricorn on Christmas Day. This will not be visible in North American I believe you can see it in places like India and certain Asian countries. However despite not being able to see it we will be feeling its powerful affects. This eclipse will be affecting those with Cardinal sign placements. That is Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. Think back to July when the summer brings the typical eclipse season of 2 solar eclipses and 1 lunar eclipse. This was a very powerful and potent time astrologically/energetically. It really shook some people’s lives and changed things dramatically. It likely caused certain stresses, anxieties and dramatic events to arise, especially for those with Cardinal signs. Think back to July and the events that transpired back then. Have things been felt in limbo for you? Themes from July are going to present themselves back again and things are going to start moving forward from this limbo state. There might be devastating, catastrophic and illuminating events that will transpire. It is a warning however there is nothing to do but prepare and protect yourself for some potentially harder times that will come your way. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a bad thing, and despite change being scary and sometimes difficult it can ultimately be the best thing that is for you. So do not fear change rather embrace it. I will be writing more about the eclipse in the next few weeks so stay tuned for more information.

Full "Frosty" Moon in Taurus Ritual

There is a full Moon in Taurus coming up this Monday night leading into Tuesday morning the 12th at 2:56am CST. This is an amazing time to do a full Moon ritual. Full Moons are a time where emotions and sensitivities are already heightened, it is a good time to ground yourself and release some of the negative emotions you may be feeling and toxic ties you may be attached to. There are some really ancient rituals that have been done for 1000s of years. A lot of different astrologers and healers use these types of things to help people with the difficulties of life. You can do a ritual for all kinds of different things but some popular times to commit to doing a ritual is during new Moons, full Moons and during the equinoxes and solstices. If you really enjoy doing them then you can start to do a ritual for other things you need in life. It can be very therapeutic. The power of manifestation is a crazy thing and that’s why these rituals are important.

The full Moon will be in the earth element of Taurus. Full “Frosty” Moon, known as Frosty Moon because November is typically the time of year when the first frost or snowfall would occur. Taurus is ruled by Venus the planet of love, beauty and money. They are stable, grounded, loyal, strong, sensual, with a creative mind, a love for creature comforts, a love for anything luxurious and an eye for all things beautiful. They also can be very stubborn, fixed in their ways, at times lazy and overindulgent. They are a Fixed sign however and because of this are associated with stabilization, determination, persistence and dept. Taurus is as strong and steady as the bull. Use this full Moon to focus on your relationships, your own stubborn tendencies, how you view money and objects and any overindulgent behaviours. Letting go and cutting toxic ties are always the number one theme on full Moons. Truths and lights will be illuminated as well.

Whereas we perform new Moon rituals to set wishes and intentions for the month ahead of you, the reason we do a full Moon ritual is to let go of things that no longer serve you. This could be attitudes, emotions, personal relationships, bad habits, illnesses. Anything you can think of that is negatively impacting your life. Things that have been hidden can also be revealed. Revelations and people being exposed. You can count on it for a full Moon. I like to burn my full Moon ritual intentions. It can be very symbolic and healing. You can also interpret the way your paper burns, so if your intentions light up instantly and burn the paper completely you have truly let go or maybe the fire fades quickly and only burns off a corner, what do you think that is telling you? Focus on the flames and how the paper looks at the end of it burning.

You have 3 days before the new moon to perform this ritual or 3 days after.

1) Gather any and all supplies that you will need for the ritual. Incense such as You can use sage to smudge beforehand, I will be using White Sage from my own personal sage bundles that I have been making, for this full Moon. You will need some crystals ( Emerald, Jade, Moss Agate, Rose Quartz, Labradorite, Kyanite, Lapis Lazuli are all Taurus crystals), a pen, a journal to write, a bowl to smudge in or burn intentions, a bowl of water and a white or green candle.

2) Create yourself a special alter space for all the items that you have gathered. It doesn’t matter where your alter space is, it can be any table in the house or on the floor, wherever you feel most comfortable. Decorate with items such as crystals, plants, candles, things you find outside in nature like leaves or feathers, decorative table runners, anything you can really think of that seems appropriate. For the Aries full Moon I will be using lots of Labradorite, green crystals such as Jade and Moss Agate, I will be using one of my succulents and cacti to represent the element earth and some dead roses.

3) Start by smudging your alter space and say a little prayer. It can be along the lines of “I respect mother Moon and all she does for us. I plan to release that which no longer serves me. I do this to heal myself from past traumas and to fully let go and move forward.“ Write down your traumas and the things that we wish to let go of focus on them, meditate on them. What do you wish for your life? Can you actually picture these things happening to and for you in your life? Letting go WILL NOT work if you truly don’t believe it. It’s important to be clear on what you want. You can doodle and make your intentions “pretty” or it can be as simple as writing a list. This is a good time to set intentions to do with letting go of toxic relationships that you have held onto for far too long, overindulging in food, shopping and drugs or alcohol. Not putting your full effort into the things that are meaningful to you and being lazy in your goals and lifestyle. Letting go of your own stubborn side and streak. Some of these intentions could be: I will finally end my toxic, abusive relationship despite being together for years and feeling like I need them. I will work on portioning my meals and eating healthier rather than feeding my body junk because it is what I am craving in the moment. I will finally clean out the basement (or whatever action you have been putting off doing out of laziness) and organize my closet. I will work on admitting when I am wrong and letting go of my pride and ego especially in situations that may be harmful or hurtful to others.

4) Light your candle and put your crystals in the bowl of water. You want to charge the water and cleanse yourself after burning your intentions. Hold your intentions over the other bowl and using the candle light them on fire. Like I have already said you will want to analyze how they burn, even take a picture or video to look back on later. Use the water to charge your crystals. Write about it in your Moon journal. Something to look back on over the next few weeks and to remind yourself of your intentions.

5) At this time you can take some time for yourself however you wish, write down your interpretations of the flame burning, further meditation, possibly a tarot reading if you do that, you can even enjoy a glass of wine. Tell the Moon you love her, clean up your space and now is a good time to put your crystals in a window sill to charge under the light of the full moon. You have just completed your full Moon ritual. Now can be a good time to take a detox bath. Use bath salts, flowers, crystals and maybe even a charcoal mud mask to help detoxify and destress.

I hope you guys enjoy doing this ritual and can find some peace or healing that you may be needing in life. I also hope you can take some time to appreciate all that is good in your life. Just like the oceans’ tides that ebb and flow as does the Moon wax and wane and although emotions can be heightened during the full Moon you will soon feel back to your normal self and ready to tackle a whole new month/Moon cycle. On the 13th I will put out my Full Frosty Moon in Taurus blog post. There is also a new Moon in Sagittarius on the 26th of November. Also I will be talking about the upcoming Solar Eclipse in Capricorn on Christmas and what that means for us and especially for those with Cardinal sign placements. Happy full Moon friends!

Samhain - Origins, Celebration and Rituals

It is finally here! My favourite day of the year. Halloween is great and all but it has much deeper and Pagan roots. Samhain which is pronounced Sowin is the Celtic Gaelic festival that marks the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter or the “darker half” of the year. It was known as the end of the Celtic year and the beginning of a new one, thus being the equivalent of New Year’s Eve and Day. The Christian religion adopted the celebrations and renamed it All Hallows Eve, similar traditions and where Halloween was eventually born. It is halfway between the autumn equinox and the winter solstice and is a very energetically potent day. The celebrations lasted from October 31st generally past November 1st into the 2nd. It is without a doubt the most important of all the harvest festivals during the Celtic Calendar. We talk about the “veil getting thinner and thinner”. This refers to the division between the real world and the spirit world, when it is at it’s thinnest this allows spirits to pass through. This was a day to honour, celebrate and communicate with the dead. Families would invite familiar spirits to visit at home while simultaneously warding off dark or evil spirits. People would dress up in masks and costumes in order to disguise themselves against harmful spirits. Like the rest of these pagan holidays bonfires and food were a big part of the celebration. The bonfires would symbolize mans attempt to assist the sun as it slowly descended further and further into the “underworld” and the days got shorter and shorter. This day has much symbolism but really when it all comes down to it we think about themes such as death, rebirth, cycles, transformations and celebrating the dead of loved ones passed. It is very Plutonion and very Scorpio. Many astrologers, tarot readers, psychics and other witchy people use this day and energy in order to access higher realms, honour that which we have let go of and focus on our own rebirth. Just like the sun that sets and rises each day, just like the leaves that fall and die and then rebud in the spring, life is a continuous cycle and death is never the end. With Mercury Retrograde and us being in the midst of Scorpio season this time is going to be extra illuminating.

Here are some ways you can celebrate Samhain, and a lot of them are already things you have likely done for Halloween:

1) Carving Jack-O-Lanterns out of Pumpkins, roasting pumpkin seeds

2) Dressing up in a costume and wearing masks

3) Working with your divination tools, such as runes, scrying, tarot reading, akashic records, whatever else you can think of

4) Having a bonfire and telling spooky stories around the bonfire

5) Connecting with your ancestors and familial spirits by setting up an Ancestor Altar, visit a family members tombstone, meditating and connecting with your familial spirits

6) Hosting a “Dead Dinner” which basically just consists of having a nice dinner but eating in silence. You invite your loved ones who have passed and enjoy a dinner together. Cook a family recipe that has been passed down to you, add family photographs, heirlooms and trinkets to make them feel welcomed. Feel free to write a letter to your loved one. I do recommend grounding yourself after doing something like this with meditation, or a bath, smudging yourself, connecting with the earth.

7) Visiting a pumpkin patch, corn maze or taking a hay ride

8) Baking an apple or pumpkin pie

There are actually many ways that you can celebrate Samhain on top of this. The most popular one would be going out trick or treating with your littles, or even yourself. While this has been completely commercialized but if you do it with the right intent it can be meaningful. Playing in the leaves, lighting autumn scented candles, and watching a spooky movie or reading a scary story are all other examples. Something that I will be doing on this special and sacred day is attending my very first tarot reading party as THE tarot reader. I am so excited as I really hope to connect with some people who likely will really be in need of my guidance and expertise. And I am sure I will be picking up on some very interesting messages with the electric energy in the air. I also of course plan to carve pumpkins and go trick or treating with my family and then hand out candy after my kids have done their neighbourhood rounds. I also will be dressing up in at the very least 1 if not 2 different costumes. It is going to be an amazing day and I really hope to connect with my very own spirit guides. I am ready for some guidance and clarity and ready to enjoy the second half of this year. Happy Samhain friends and I hope you find ways to incorporate this holiday into your life and find ways to honour and celebrate dead loved ones, even if you don’t believe. It is never a bad thing to celebrate someone you love who has passed on. Use this time to focus on the things you need to let go of and grow from as well. Blessed be.

Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio

It’s that time again. Another Mercury Retrograde is upon us. We have been in it’s shadow period for a couple weeks now since October 13th so you may have started to feel some of the affects already and tomorrow it will go full retrograde along with the celebration of Halloween and Samhain. It is going to be a very powerful and potent day energetically. Mercury the planet of communication, technology and travel. Mercury goes retrograde on October 31st until November 20th. What is a retrograde? When a planet is retrograde it means it’s orbit is spinning backwards and spinning slower than usual. Mercury is fast paced and not used to this energy at all and prone to going haywire. This is going to bring us drama, emotions and more drama. Expect some sort of spectacle in your life. Also expect confusions, miscommunications, travel delays, technological breakdowns, and hold off on major purchases, decisions and contracts. People from your past may pop up and it’s a known thing to expect a text from your ex during Mercury Retrograde. This is a good time to focus on your intuitive nature and dreams. This is a time to get in touch with your third eye and psychic abilities. Open up to the unknown. Always follow your gut and intuition it’s crazy the things it can lead you to. Expand your mind! Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio can be the most intense of all, this goes way beyond shitty texts from your ex or computers malfunctioning. Truths will be illuminated and relationships will be put to the ultimate test and some will likely not make it. Be weary of of your own negative thoughts and obsessing over your thoughts. Another thing to focus on this Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio is focusing on your intimate connections and own needs, your hidden desires and any impulse decisions. As always we must slow down and not make any rash decisions, in communication and personal matters. Please back up your computer and all of your work!!! Expect there to be confusion and make sure to triple check all forms of emails, social media and texts, even when you are speaking and listening in person. Do not speak irrationally and do not speak with anger or aggression. Deception and gaslighting may be a thing that happens as well as unnecessary fights over nothing. Mercury will go direct on November 20th so we have a few weeks of this retrograde energy. Get ready friends! Let’s get in touch with ourselves and our emotions and flourish but also remember to be mindful of how we communicate and receive.

New Moon in Scorpio Ritual

There are some really ancient rituals that have been done for 1000s of years. A lot of different astrologers and healers use these types of things to help people with the difficulties of life. You can do a ritual for all kinds of different things but some popular times to commit to doing a ritual is during new Moons, full Moons and during the equinoxes and solstices. If you really enjoy doing them then you can start to do a ritual for other things you need in life. It can be very therapeutic. The power of manifestation is a crazy thing and that’s why these rituals are important.

The new Moon moves into Scorpio on October 27th at 3:27pm. We set intentions for the month on the new Moon to be clear and concise about what we like to achieve. New Moons are about manifesting our goals and desires whereas full Moons are about cutting ties and letting go. The new Moon in Scorpio asks us to focus on transformation, forgiveness, letting go, disengaging from power struggles, working on compulsive and toxic patterns/cycles. Despite this all sounding like they should be Full Moon intentions for letting go but we need to understand the dark/shadow side of Scoprio. Scorpio is a water sign, a fixed sign and ruled by the planet Pluto. Deeply sensitive, but very good at not showing it and putting up a tough front. Calculated, passionate, manipulative, sensitive, stubborn, loyal, curious with an attraction to all things taboo. Sex, life, birth, death, rebirth and transformation. They are associated with the Phoenix, rising from the ashes to transform themselves, time and time again. This I find to be somewhat of a paradox, there is an incredibly stubborn and fixed part about them that makes it very difficult to get through to them and very difficult for them to want to make a change, yet they are constantly compare to the Phoenix. If you know or are an evolved Scorpio you may be one of my favourite kind of people. Unevolved Scorpios? Oooof, they can sting you in ways that you didn’t even know were possible. Be careful with this unevolved Scorpio and how close you allow them to get to you. This is not a Scorpio drag, I have a deep love for Scorpios, all the signs have a shadow side, but I will say that Scorpios shadow side is darker than most signs. This all comes into play when making new Moon intentions. We must focus on working on that shadow side of ourselves. Our toxic patterns, our problems letting go. Working towards forgiveness. Working towards transforming ourselves into the person we want to be. It all sounds like something that should be used for a Full Moon Ritual but despite wanting to release toxic pattern you can also set intentions to make sure you are continuously working on transforming your shadow side.

You have 3 days before and 3 days after the new Moon to perform this ritual.

1) Gather any and all supplies that you will need for the ritual. You can use sage to cleanse beforehand, crystals you will need (labradorite, amethyst, citrine, black tourmaline, black obsidian, red jasper, Smokey quartz), a journal to write, a bowl to cleanse in or burn intentions, and a candle. I will be using herbs from my garden to cleanse this time because I have some leftover from my market.

2) Create yourself a special alter space for all the items that you have gathered. It doesn’t matter where your alter space is, it can be any table in the house or on the floor, wherever you feel most comfortable. Decorate with items such as crystals, plants, candles, things you find outside in nature like leaves or feathers, decorative table runners, anything you can really think of that seems appropriate. I will be using labradorite, selenite, aura quartz, clear quartz, obsidian, white pumpkin, some halloween decorations, black candles, Myrrh incense, an epoxy knife, dead roses, mugworts for cleansing and my tarot cards. My journal you can buy on Amazon. The tarot cards I purchased from a small bookstore in Kelowna but they are called Mystic Mondays. Decorations and crystals have all been purchased over the years from various locations such a Michaels, the Forks, Stonebridge, Michael’s, Dollarama etc. The ceramic fire proof bowl was made by my lovely mother.

3) Start by cleansing your alter space and say a little prayer. It can be along the lines of “I respect mother moon and all she does for us. I take this time to set honest intentions. I manifest all that is good and bright and light. I have the power to change my future. I will let go all that no longer serves me. I am totally and completely alined spiritually. I am in tune with my higher powers. “ Write down your intentions or wishes. focus on them, meditate on them. What do you wish for your life? Can you actually picture these things happening to and for you in your life? The manifestation WILL NOT work if you truly don’t believe it. It’s important to be clear on what you want. You can doodle and make your intentions “pretty” or you can just be as simple as writing a list. Some new Moon in Scorpio intensions would be: I will focus on forgiving those who have wronged me. I will actively forgive those who have never apologized to me in the way that I deem acceptable. I will focus on my shadow side and work towards evolving myself past my shadow self. I will not be held back by my flaws. I will transform myself to be the best version of myself I can be. I will focus on my sex life, and areas that could be improved intimately. I will embrace my shadow side and accept my flaws to be part of me but at the same time am not limited to it and will continuously work on myself. I will release any toxic patterns I have developed over the years. I will heal from past traumas that enable my toxic patterns. Use the word WILL, over and over, reiterate it. As I said before it won’t work unless you truly believe. There are of course the typical ones for manifestation as well; make lots of money, lose weight, be a better person, better mother, better friend, etc. You can manifest whatever your heart desires truly. These are just some examples of Scorpio themes.

4) Light your candle. You will write your intentions down into your journal. You will start off by writing down the goals and desires you have for this new month ahead of you. You will ask for the guidance in doing this. Don’t let fear or ego hold you back any longer. Next you will write about your wishes for the next month. What do you desire above all else. This is the perfect month to focus on yourself and your true desires. Now is the time to be realistic and focus on the things you truly need to accomplish in order for your dreams to manifest entirely. You will light the paper on fire and watch how the fire burns your intentions. Maybe it burns fast or maybe it fizzles out fast or maybe it burns slow and smouldering. This seals your desires and puts them out into the universe.

5) At this time you can take some time for yourself however you wish, further meditation, possibly a tarot reading if you are into that, you can even enjoy a glass of wine. Tell the Moon you love her, clean up your space and take the crystals to bed with you. You have just completed your new Moon ritual.

I hope you guys enjoy doing this ritual and can find some peace or healing that you may be needing in life. I also hope that you manifest your deepest desires and this Moon month goes exactly how you wish it to. Now is the time for action and to put forth effort into achieving your goals. Use this positive energy towards achieving so much more than you even think is possible. Autumn is almost coming to an end now and planets that have been retrograde for months are no longer so. We have been in the shadow phase of Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio. There have been many lessons over the last several months and it is a good time to reflect on what we have learned. Samhain is in a few days on the 31st as well as the beginning of Mercury Retrograde. I will be putting out new posts for both of these events so stay tuned. The veil is thin and is only getting thinner for the nest few days so take care of yourself and be weary of the way your body feels and your reactions. Happy new Moon! The full Moon will be November 12th in Taurus. Stay tuned for further blog posts, Origins and Meaning of Samhain, Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio and a Full Moon Ritual in Taurus.

Full "Hunter" Moon in Aries Ritual

There is a full Moon in Aries coming up this Sunday the 13th at 4:10pm CST. This is an amazing time to do a full Moon ritual. Full Moons are a time where emotions and sensitivities are already heightened, it is a good time to ground yourself and release some of the negative emotions you may be feeling and toxic ties you may be attached to. There are some really ancient rituals that have been done for 1000s of years. A lot of different astrologers and healers use these types of things to help people with the difficulties of life. You can do a ritual for all kinds of different things but some popular times to commit to doing a ritual is during new Moons, full Moons and during the equinoxes and solstices. If you really enjoy doing them then you can start to do a ritual for other things you need in life. It can be very therapeutic. The power of manifestation is a crazy thing and that’s why these rituals are important.

The full Moon will be in the fire element of Aries. Full “Hunter” Moon, known as hunter Moon because this is the time of year when tribes would gather meat for the long winter months ahead. Aries is ruled by Mars, the planet of action and drive. They are fiery, passionate and action oriented. They are the first sign in the zodiac and because of this able to focus on themselves, not to say they are selfish but they are very good at doing what they need to do to put themselves first. They are courageous, determined, confident, enthusiastic, optimistic and honest. They are also impatient, moody, reckless, impulsive, short tempered and aggressive. They are a Cardinal sign however and because of this are associated with leadership, originality and idea making. Aries is a warrior. Use this full Moon to focus on yourself and your independence. Let go of any and all self doubts. Something I suffer from at times is imposter syndrome, the fear that people either don’t take me seriously or don’t believe me to be who I say I am. I need to let that go because even if there are people who think that who cares? It doesn't change who I am or the things that I know and am passionate about. Letting go and cutting toxic ties are always the number one theme on full Moons. Truths and lights will be illuminated as well. The Moon will square Pluto which is a tougher aspect and will likely bring up some deeper, harder stuff that you have been avoiding. On top of this Pluto Retrograde is no longer, Pluto has gone direct! Think of the lessons and things you learned during Pluto Retrograde, what did you hide and avoid dealing with, because now you are likely going to be facing the things you have been avoiding. The truth will come to light. Not only from this full Moon but also Pluto Retrograde. As well as both Moon square Pluto and Pluto direct we are currently in the shadow phase of Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio. Yes another Mercury Retrograde, I will talk about this more in a blog post coming up in the next couple weeks or so.

Whereas we perform new Moon rituals to set wishes and intentions for the month ahead of you, the reason we do a full Moon ritual is to let go of things that no longer serve you. This could be attitudes, emotions, personal relationships, bad habits, illnesses. Anything you can think of that is negatively impacting your life. Things that have been hidden can also be revealed. Revelations and people being exposed. You can count on it for a full Moon. I like to burn my full Moon ritual intentions. It can be very symbolic and healing. You can also interpret the way your paper burns, so if your intentions light up instantly and burn the paper completely you have truly let go or maybe the fire fades quickly and only burns off a corner, what do you think that is telling you? Focus on the flames and how the paper looks at the end of it burning.

You have 3 days before the new moon to perform this ritual or 3 days after.

1) Gather any and all supplies that you will need for the ritual. Incense such as You can use sage to smudge beforehand, I will be using White Sage from my own personal sage bundles that I have been making, for this full Moon. You will need some crystals ( amethyst, carnelian, jasper, labradorite, aventurine are all Aries crystals), a pen, a journal to write, a bowl to smudge in or burn intentions, a bowl of water and a white or red candle.

2) Create yourself a special alter space for all the items that you have gathered. It doesn’t matter where your alter space is, it can be any table in the house or on the floor, wherever you feel most comfortable. Decorate with items such as crystals, plants, candles, things you find outside in nature like leaves or feathers, decorative table runners, anything you can really think of that seems appropriate. For the Aries full Moon I will be using lots of amethyst, carnelian, red jasper, candles and pumpkins (tis the season).

3) Start by cleansing your alter space and say a little prayer. It can be along the lines of “I respect mother Moon and all she does for us. I plan to release that which no longer serves me. I do this to heal myself from past traumas and to fully let go and move forward.“ Write down your traumas and the things that we wish to let go of focus on them, meditate on them. What do you wish for your life? Can you actually picture these things happening to and for you in your life? Letting go WILL NOT work if you truly don’t believe it. It’s important to be clear on what you want. You can doodle and make your intentions “pretty” or it can be as simple as writing a list. This is a good time to set intentions for letting go of your lack of faith in yourself, imposter syndrome, any people who don’t support you or see you for who you are. Set reminders of who you are and how to put yourself first. Let go of the things that make this impossible. If you are going through a rough time now would be the best time for you to perform a full Moon ritual.

4) Light your candle and put your crystals in the bowl of water. You want to charge the water and cleanse yourself after burning your intentions. Hold your intentions over the other bowl and using the candle light them on fire. Like I have already said you will want to analyze how they burn, even take a picture or video to look back on later. Use the water to charge your crystals. Write about it in your Moon journal. Something to look back on over the next few weeks and to remind yourself of your intentions.

5) At this time you can take some time for yourself however you wish, write down your interpretations of the flame burning, further meditation, possibly a tarot reading if you do that, you can even enjoy a glass of wine. Tell the Moon you love her, clean up your space and now is a good time to put your crystals in a window sill to charge under the light of the full moon. You have just completed your full Moon ritual. Now can be a good time to take a detox bath. Use bath salts, flowers, crystals and maybe even a charcoal mud mask to help detoxify and destress.

I hope you guys enjoy doing this ritual and can find some peace or healing that you may be needing in life. I also hope you can take some time to appreciate all that is good in your life. Just like the oceans’ tides that ebb and flow as does the Moon wax and wane and although emotions can be heightened during the full Moon you will soon feel back to your normal self and ready to tackle a whole new month/Moon cycle. On the 13th I will put out my Full Hunter Moon in Aries blog post. There is also a new Moon in Scorpio on the 27th of October. Also the last harvest Sabbath of the Witch’s year, Samhain, also known as All Hallows Eve or Halloween, on October 31st. Happy full Moon friends!

Why I Quit my Job to be a Stay at Home Mom

The day has finally come. After almost 18 months of maternity leave my time is running out and I had to make a decision. Do I stay or do I go? If you’ve read my blog or are a friend you at some point have probably heard me talk about likely not going back to work after this maternity leave. For those who don’t know, I worked for the company called VIA Rail Canada for 7 years. It truly was an amazing job. Amazing benefits, great pay, opportunities to travel and see Canada in a way most never would, and for free, really good experience, and a unique work setting. I love working with customers, I am definitely a people pleaser and this is my forte. It was the perfect job for me. The hours were all over the place and one thing I can tell you about trains is that they are never on time. Unfortunately VIA Rail runs on CN’s freight line and freight trains get priority over the passenger train causing massive delays, sometimes over 24 hours. It was typical for me to work 16+ hour days from 6:30pm all the way until noon or later the next day on little to no sleep. I did everything from Baggage, Gate Attendant, Ticket Agent, Senior Station Agent, Stockchecker, Linen Stocking to eventually working in the office as the Word Processor Operator (a glorified title for admin assistant).

I became pregnant with Jaxson and fortunately was able to get myself into the office for the end of my pregnancy, being off of my feet and having a regular 9-5 schedule. During my time on mat leave with Jaxson I loved being home with him but by the time his first birthday came around I was sooooo ready to get back to work. Make some good money again, have adult interaction, get out of the house. I was very excited to go back to work which most people we're surprised to find out. After I went back I got an actual cold hard reality check. Life was chaotic, constantly go go go. Hardly any time to cook, clean, even run errands. Especially with how busy Jesse works. I am the primary caregiver. Jesse is the best hands on dad but let’s face it, he works A LOT. if Jaxson was sick and had to leave daycare, I had to leave work to pick him up. Our days off were spent running all the errands we were not able to get done during the week. I felt like I had no time to socialize or for family. Another horrible realization was how much I was missing of Jaxson’s first precious few years. Teaching him simple things like his ABCs or colours. Watching him walk, run and grow. It became really hard for me to drop him off at daycare knowing that she was the one teaching him all the things that I wanted to be teaching him. I am sure this is very common for working moms, and I am also sure there are moms who are incredibly grateful not to have to do this. But for me it really got to me.

I was working full time in the office at VIA at this point. There was not much room for growth for me. I was making a very good salary for an admin assistant but was maxed out at the top of my salary. I decided to ask for more responsibilities and take training in other positions. I thought this was what I wanted. Unfortunately again another hard reality check. The trains are never on time, they are never consistent, and not being in the office I didn’t have the luxury of leaving at the end of my shift. When you work in the station you work until the train leaves and your job is done, hence 16 hour days. It didn’t work with Jaxson being my priority. Luckily again I was able to stay in the office after taking training and not have to work those jobs very often. After learning this lesson I stayed away from the station jobs as much as I could. I felt frustrated about it though, there was no room for growth for me and that I would be just stuck as a secretary for the rest of my VIA career. I became pregnant with Asher. I was soooo excited but nervous about this because two of my kids in daycare full-time would not leave much of a pay check leftover for me. And I really wouldn't be able to work the hectic train hours with Jesse’s busy schedule. I was nervous about what the future held.

I was lucky enough to get 18 months of maternity leave, which I highly recommend to anyone considering. It was manageable financially and so worth it to get to spend that extra time with my baby. This time I didn’t get that same feeling of wanting to go back to work, I was nervous about it and somewhat dreading it. Luck was on my side because Jesse started a huge new work endeavour. True North Square which is a new high-rise building opening up downtown across from the MTS Center is opening up Hargrave Street Market which is a beautiful new food hall, think The Common but a little more high end and refined. It is going to be an amazing thing for downtown and Jesse fortunately was a big part of the project. He will be the executive chef of 6 kitchens, 5 restaurants and the bar as well. This meant a huge raise for him and thus meaning I could stay home with the kids! When he told me I was so excited I could cry. I was also nervous at the idea of leaving ViA though. At 30 years old I have never not worked since I was 15. It would be a big change for me to not have my own income. We decided that I would not go back to work and I would stay home with the kids and eventually have another baby. Then in the future if I wanted to go back to work I would find something that works for me. I did go back and forth on this decision many times after making it. I’ve talked about me being a fixed sign, Taurus. I do not deal well with change. Not having my own income is my biggest worry. After many reassurances from Jesse however, today was the day I officially put in my notice. To be honest I feel a weight lifted off my chest and I am so excited to focus on my dream role which is to be the best mother possible to my boys.

Luckily also while I was off on mat leave I started my own little business with the encouragement of Jesse and a couple beautiful souls seeing something in me that I was unsure of. So a few months ago not only did I start this blog but I also started my little side hustle, MommaBatApothecary. I do tarot readings, natal charts, make jewelry, sell crystals and recently started creating art with epoxy resin. I have so much creativity ready to burst out of me, my ideas feel endless. I have 3 craft markets coming up in the foreseeable future and definitely plan on applying for as many as possible in the future. It’s a nice little way to work on things that I am passionate about and also make a little side income. I am really proud of it and can’t wait to see how it grows over the next year. Also Jesse and I are planning to move ASAP. This is going to be a big project finding a home, decorating and renovating if need be. And then of course, in the future a new baby. I will definitely have my hands full with 3 little ones. Even two has me feeling crazy a lot of the time. Motherhood is one helluva job. Hardest job I have ever had, and I need to be the best I can be for my littles. If that means stepping away from a career for a few years to raise them then I am perfectly content with that. And who knows maybe my side business will take off and become something I can really live off of. The possibilities are endless for me right now though.

I am so grateful for VIA. It was an amazing opportunity and experience. I made a lot of good friends and met some interesting people. Despite my reservations and anxiety I am ready to leave it all behind. It’s a new chapter in my life and while things have felt in limbo for the past few months, things are finally moving in the right direction. I very much look forward to the future. And most of all I cannot wait to be home every day with my babies. I have already volunteered on Jaxson’s preschool’s board of directors and so it truly begins. I am going to be there every step of the way. Every PTA meeting, every swimming lesson, every art class. I cannot wait!

New Moon in Libra Ritual

There are some really ancient rituals that have been done for 1000s of years. A lot of different astrologers and healers use these types of things to help people with the difficulties of life. You can do a ritual for all kinds of different things but some popular times to commit to doing a ritual is during new Moons, full Moons and during the equinoxes and solstices. If you really enjoy doing them then you can start to do a ritual for other things you need in life. It can be very therapeutic. The power of manifestation is a crazy thing and that’s why these rituals are important.

The new Moon moves into Libra on September 28th at 1:27pm. We set intentions for the month on the new Moon to be clear and concise about what we like to achieve. New Moons are about manifesting our goals and desires whereas full Moons are about cutting ties and letting go. The new Moon in Libra asks us to focus on balance, harmony, partnerships, love, beauty and romance. It is no coincidence that the sign for Libra is the scales. Fairness and balance is everything to a Libra. This would be a really good time to set intentions to do with your aesthetic. Work on your look. Libra is ruled by Venus the planet of love and beauty. If there is something you want to work on looks wise this would be the month to do it. Venus also rules money so manifest your money or job desires as well. Set intentions for your love life. Maybe you need a little spark of romance in your life. This could be a really good time on reigniting that flame or doing something special for your lover just because. A perfect occasion for a date night and actually a really amazing night to for and to attend Nuit Blanche. If you are planning to go be mindful while you are there. Manifestation can take place anywhere.

You have 3 days before and 3 days after the new Moon to perform this ritual.

1) Gather any and all supplies that you will need for the ritual. You can use sage to smudge beforehand, crystals you will need (citrine, ametrine, heliotrope, jade and moonstone), a journal to write, a bowl to smudge in or burn intentions, and a candle. I will be using herbs from my garden to smudge this time just because it seems like a good fit for the last of the summer. I will be using rose scented incense which is associated with Libra as well.

2) Create yourself a special alter space for all the items that you have gathered. It doesn’t matter where your alter space is, it can be any table in the house or on the floor, wherever you feel most comfortable. Decorate with items such as crystals, plants, candles, things you find outside in nature like leaves or feathers, decorative table runners, anything you can really think of that seems appropriate. I will be using citrine, selenite, clear quartz and labradorite, some Halloween/autumn decor and tea lights, a white candle, some runes as I have recently started working with some runes that I have had for a while now, some rose incense and my homemade smudging bundles which includes white sage, lavender, basil flowers and more from my own garden.

3) Start by smudging your alter space and say a little prayer. It can be along the lines of “I respect mother moon and all she does for us. I take this time to set honest intentions. I manifest all that is good and bright and light. I have the power to change my future. I will let go all that no longer serves me. I am totally and completely alined spiritually. I am in tune with my higher powers. “ Write down your intentions or wishes. focus on them, meditate on them. What do you wish for your life? Can you actually picture these things happening to and for you in your life? The manifestation WILL NOT work if you truly don’t believe it. It’s important to be clear on what you want. You can doodle and make your intentions “pretty” or you can just be as simple as writing a list. Some new Moon in Libra intensions would be: I will focus on finding harmony and peace in my life. I will balance my life in all aspects and make sure I am pulling my weight in my relationships. I will change my hair colour or book that facial. I will go shopping for some new fall clothes. I will focus on my partner’s needs and do whatever I can to make them happy. I will do something romantic and surprising for the person I love. I will allow those butterflies to re enter my already long term relationship. Etc. Use the word WILL, over and over, reiterate it. As I said before it won’t work unless you truly believe. There are of course the typical ones for manifestation as well; make lots of money, lose weight, be a better person, better mother, better friend, etc. You can manifest whatever your heart desires truly. These are just some examples of Libra themes.

4) Light your candle. You will write your intentions down into your journal. You will start off by writing down the goals and desires you have for this new month ahead of you. You will ask for the guidance in doing this. Don’t let fear or ego hold you back any longer. Next you will write about your wishes for the next month. What do you desire above all else. This is the perfect month to focus on yourself and your true desires. Now is the time to be realistic and focus on the things you truly need to accomplish in order for your dreams to manifest entirely. You will light the paper on fire and watch how the fire burns your intentions. Maybe it burns fast or maybe it fizzles out fast or maybe it burns slow and smouldering. This seals your desires and puts them out into the universe.

5) At this time you can take some time for yourself however you wish, further meditation, possibly a tarot reading if you are into that, you can even enjoy a glass of wine. Tell the Moon you love her, clean up your space and take the crystals to bed with you. You have just completed your new Moon ritual.

I hope you guys enjoy doing this ritual and can find some peace or healing that you may be needing in life. I also hope that you manifest your deepest desires and this Moon month goes exactly how you wish it to. Now is the time for action and to put forth effort into achieving your goals. Use this positive energy towards achieving so much more than you even think is possible. Autumn is in full swing and planets that have been retrograde are no longer so. There have been many lessons over the last several months and it is a good time to reflect on what we have learned, particularly during Saturn Retrograde. Make sure to check out my blog post on Saturn Retrograde as it went direct over a week ago. Happy new Moon! The full Moon will be October 13th in Aries. Stay tuned for further blog posts the full Moon in Aries.

Mabon - Fall Equinox - Celebrations and Rituals

Tomorrow is the autumn equinox, both equal parts day and light for our world and a moment of perfect balance. This also goes hand in hand with the start of Libra season which as we know Libras live for harmony and balance. In the Southern Hemisphere they are celebrating Ostara and the Spring equinox but here in the Northern Hemisphere we are celebrating Mabon and the autumn equinox. Mabon, it’s the time where we take to honour the changing seasons and it is also the second harvest. Winter’s approach is felt as the days become shorter. Food is being gathered, the crops are becoming bare and the food is being stored to survive the winter months. The abundance of this harvest brings us together and encourages us to be grateful. The ever prevalent theme of life, death and rebirth is strong for this sabbath. The leaves are changing and the once lush green trees are starting to die. Soon the foliage will reach its peak vivid colours of red, yellow, orange and brown and then just as quick as the colours change they will fall and be bare. The green of the fields is replaced with gold. Everything is incredibly beautiful and you feel a little more grateful.

As always there are many different ways to celebrate Mabon. Some require more effort than others but you can go all out or as low key as you’d like. I have compiled a list of some ways to celebrate the autumn equinox.

Here are some ways to celebrate Mabon:

1) Go apple picking

2) Decorate your altar to represent Mabon colours and the season, orange, red, yellow and brown. Amber, citrine, peridot

3) Host a potluck with friends and family, bake apple pies for dessert, cook homemade, hearty soups

4) Go on a nature walk and pick up nature items to use for your altar, things like leaves, pinecones and acorns

5) Decorate your home with autumn decor

6) Sit outside, enjoy the breeze and enjoy the colours of autumn

7) Drink apple cider or any type of yummy fall beverage that makes you feel warm and fuzzy

8) Meditate with amber or citrine crystals, do a Mabon tarot reading

9) Get cozy in your favourite blanket and watch a fall (or better yet, HORROR) movie

10) Collect cans or donations for your local food drive. Donate to someone in need.

I am definitely going to be more low key for this sabbath. The big one is around the corner (Samhain) and I have already been doing tons of fall activities. Jaxson has school AND swimming lessons today so it is going to be a busy day. I may go shopping for some more fall decor but I definitely plan on going for a nice nature walk and pick up a lovely fall inspired beverage from my local coffee shop. I also did my part in donating some home items to a local neighbour that had nothing and was basically starting from scratch. I had some stuff lying around that had no use for us and tons of use for her so I was more than happy to give it to her. I also plan on watching a scary movie later this evening but let’s be real that is every day for me. It’s a big week for me and even though I can’t talk about it quite yet I am very excited for all that is to come. I hope you find some beauty and magic in today’s lovely day. Happy official day of fall! This is the best time of year so get out there and enjoy it!

Full "Harvest" Moon in Pisces and Friday the 13th

Hey y’all. I hope you all have been doing well. I know my writing has been slacking lately. A lot of things have been slacking to be honest. I have mentioned multiple times that I have been going through it and this has probably been one of the hardest years of my life. My Saturn return has truly affected both my husband and I in a lot of ways. But never fear because it has brought us so much closer together if that is even possible and I can tell you now that my little family I have built is the very best thing going for me. They make my days so full and happy. So at least I have all of that going for me. One of these days I am going to put a blog post out on what I have been going through and I am sure it will all make sense from that point forward. But until then I am just focusing on myself and my family. It is a good thing to make sure you are always working on yourself and continuously growing. Don’t get stuck in old mindsets and ways. There is always room for improvement whether you are 13, 30, 50 or 75.

Anyway today’s blog post is about the ever spooky and mysterious Friday the 13th. Which also coincides with a full Harvest Moon in Pisces. We are lucky here in Manitoba because our full Moon lands today on Friday the 13th, amplifying the affects of the day. A lot of other places depending on time zone will be experiencing the full Moon tomorrow on the 14th. Basically the full Moon is very close to midnight.

I did a post on facebook a while back explaining there significance of Friday the 13th. It is my most favourite day of the year. 13 is very meaningful for me and I know a lot of people think that Friday the 13th and the number 13 in general are very bad luck. This is a complete superstition and there is no truth to this whatsoever. If anything the day is quite lucky and something to be celebrated. It originated from Pagan times, because everything originated from Pagan times. Basically it was a day to celebrate the divine feminine spirit and considered the “Day of the Goddess”. Friday is ruled by the planet Venus. Venus the planet of love and beauty but also represented by the beautiful goddess Aphrodite. It was never meant to be something scary or horribly unlucky. 13 is also a feminine number. It represents the number of menstrual cycles in a year a woman has and again was twisted into something evil and bad. It also represents change and beginnings and endings of cycles. When the Christian religion took over they did everything in their power to twist the story into thinking it was something like that. But really it is an honour of our own fertility and the beauty that is life, birth, creation, death and rebirth. So basically if you have any bad feelings about Friday the 13th, especially if you are a woman this is coming from Patriarchal religions and society trying to tear you down and make you believe you do not need to be celebrated. Use this day to celebrate your own feminine energy. I wrote recently about a full Moon ritual and this is the perfect day to do one. Also go out with your girl friends and do something fun. Make sure to celebrate your own womanhood.

Now onto the Pisces full Harvest Moon. This is somewhat of a rare occurrence and will be the last Friday the 13th Harvest Moon until 2049. Definitely a special day. Known as a “Harvest” moon because now is the time when harvesting crops begins. With the full Moon in the mutable, water sign of Pisces you may find yourself feeling extra emotional, dreamy and spacey. This full Moon will be affecting those with Mutable signs the most, that is Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Pisces It is a really good time to tap into your intuitive side, your creative side, and any psychic powers you feel you may have. You may feel the need to escape and during this time cope with substances. This is very Neptunian energy which rules addiction. A Pisces moon is always a time when people hit the bottle. This is okay, everything in moderation, and as long as you are having fun. If you are using it as a way to deal with your pain and escape I would definitely recommend holding off on the drinking or drug use. Pisces are known for their sensitivity and compassion. You will be feeling likely extra sensitive and likely more emotional during this full Moon. They are also known to be somewhat of a martyr to any cause they deem worthy. The victim mentality can be present if they are not evolved. But these could be things to work on during this full Moon. Releasing bad habits that include dealing with pain and escapism with substances, releasing this victim mentality if you have one, working on being present and not allowing your mind to drift into a daydream. Some things to embrace for this full Moon are your creative side, your intuitive side. Tap into that intuition. You may think you have no psychic powers but you are dead wrong. Your intuition is telling you things constantly, that is your psychic power. Don’t tune it out, tune in and listen. Try to embrace balance. Pisces are givers. They give and give because they love so much and are extremely sensitive to the feelings of others. But in doing this they may not look after themselves. Life is a balance. You can give to others but make sure your needs are being met as well. Pay attention to any dreams you may be having. Neptune also rules dreams and imagination and you likely are having vivid dreams as well. There are some harsh aspects with both Neptune and Jupiter so escapist tendencies will be major for this full Moon. Mars the planet of action and drive is squaring both Neptune, the planet of dreams and illusion and Jupiter the planet of luck and expansion. Things may be confusing to say the least. Over consumption, over estimation and a desire to transcend this life will be at the forefront. Be careful not to be tricked by any illusions.

As always full Moons signify endings and new beginnings. Light is shed onto things that have been hidden in the shadows and depending on what sign it is in incredible transformation. It is also a time of heightened emotions. Be cautious of your reactions because you may act or think irrationally. This is a good time to use crystals to keep you grounded, balanced and steady. Some crystals you can use are Lapis Lazuli, Topaz, Peridot, Smoky Quartz, Sodalite and Turquoise. This is also an amazing time to do a full Moon ritual which month by month I will do postings on how to perform one. We perform full Moon rituals to release and let go of toxic and negative energies and feelings. It is very therapeutic and if you can get 4 in your group, Earth, Air, Fire and Water you are a force to be reckoned with. Full Moons are also a time of deep healing and can be overwhelming. Take the time to rest if you need. People often find they are either insomniac or extra sleepy during full Moons. If you are feeling tired or not well definitely take the time to rest and recuperate. Happy full Moon friends and remember to take this time for yourself whichever way you plan to and as always let it go. Let go of everything no longer serving you and no longer aligning with your life. Let the Universe know and grant it permission to leave.

Full “Harvest” Moon in Pisces Ritual

There is a full moon in Pisces coming up this Friday the 13th at 11:35pm CST. The energy is heavy and electric with 4 planets also currently retrograde including the most recent, Uranus which rules Aquarius. Luckily for us Saturn will be going direct very soon. This is an amazing time to do a full Moon ritual. Full Moons are a time where emotions and sensitivities are already heightened, it is a good time to ground yourself and release some of the negative emotions you may be feeling and toxic ties you may be attached to. There are some really ancient rituals that have been done for 1000s of years. A lot of different astrologers and healers use these types of things to help people with the difficulties of life. You can do a ritual for all kinds of different things but some popular times to commit to doing a ritual is during new Moons, full Moons and during the equinoxes and solstices. If you really enjoy doing them then you can start to do a ritual for other things you need in life. It can be very therapeutic. The power of manifestation is a crazy thing and that’s why these rituals are important.

The full Moon will be in the water element of Pisces. Full “Harvest” Moon, known as harvest Moon because this is the time of year when harvesting of crops begins. Pisces is ruled by Neptune, the planet of dreams, inspiration, imaginations and all things spiritual. They are very sensitive souls. Known as the psychics of the zodiac, they are the las sign in the zodiac and because of this all knowing. Sensitive, compassionate, intuitive with tendencies to play and feel the victim and also be susceptible to daydreaming/escapism. I hate to put the typical stereotype shadow stereotypes but yes they are also prone to addiction, they use drugs and alcohol as a form of escape. They are a mutable sign however and because of this are associated with adaptability, flexibility and sympathy. They are often described as diplomatic and helpful to others through difficult transitions. Use this full Moon to focus on your spiritual side. If you haven’t been in touch with yourself or your intuition now is the time to get back in touch with yourself. Focus on your dreams and psychic powers. Letting go of any bad habits especially any that include substances and substance abuse. Letting go and cutting toxic ties are always the number one theme on full Moons. Truths and lights will be illuminated as well.

Whereas we perform new Moon rituals to set wishes and intentions for the month ahead of you, the reason we do a full Moon ritual is to let go of things that no longer serve you. This could be attitudes, emotions, personal relationships, bad habits, illnesses. Anything you can think of that is negatively impacting your life. Things that have been hidden can also be revealed. Revelations and people being exposed. You can count on it for a full Moon. I like to burn my full Moon ritual intentions. It can be very symbolic and healing. You can also interpret the way your paper burns, so if your intentions light up instantly and burn the paper completely you have truly let go or maybe the fire fades quickly and only burns off a corner, what do you think that is telling you? Focus on the flames and how the paper looks at the end of it burning.

You have 3 days before the new moon to perform this ritual or 3 days after.

1) Gather any and all supplies that you will need for the ritual. Incense such as You can use sage to smudge beforehand, I will be using White Sage from my own personal sage bundles that I have been making, for this full Moon. You will need some crystals ( amethyst, jade, fluorite, labradorite, blue lace agate and lapis lazuli), a pen, a journal to write, a bowl to smudge in or burn intentions, a bowl of water and a white or black candle.

2) Create yourself a special alter space for all the items that you have gathered. It doesn’t matter where your alter space is, it can be any table in the house or on the floor, wherever you feel most comfortable. Decorate with items such as crystals, plants, candles, things you find outside in nature like leaves or feathers, decorative table runners, anything you can really think of that seems appropriate. For the Pisces full Moon I will be using lots of amethyst, leaves, acorns, and mushrooms that I picked up from my walk outside earlier today. This all seems appropriate because of the changing seasons and how quickly Mabon its approaching. Stay tuned for my post on Mabon coming up next week I did not include my tarot deck because unfortunately I do not feel comfortable doing readings at the moment for personal reasons. Once I am fully back to myself 100% I will get back to my readings, but for now I aim just taking a little break. I also used my personal smudge bundle made from white sage from my mom’s house in the country, basil flowers, lavender and creeping bellflowers from my own personal garden.

3) Start by smudging your alter space and say a little prayer. It can be along the lines of “I respect mother Moon and all she does for us. I plan to release that which no longer serves me. I do this to heal myself from past traumas and to fully let go and move forward.“ Write down your traumas and the things that we wish to let go of focus on them, meditate on them. What do you wish for your life? Can you actually picture these things happening to and for you in your life? Letting go WILL NOT work if you truly don’t believe it. It’s important to be clear on what you want. You can doodle and make your intentions “pretty” or it can be as simple as writing a list. This is a good time to set intentions for letting go of your lack of faith and your trust in your own intuition. Also a good time to let go of bad habits when it comes to your escapist tendencies, especially if these tend to involve substances. Ask yourself if you use substances just for fun or do you do it in order to “escape” mundane life or bad situations. Everything is good in moderation and for fun but when you start using things to deal with your pain this is when it can become a problem, This is definitely something to let go of. If you are going through a rough time now would be the best time for you to perform a full Moon ritual.

4) Light your candle and put your crystals in the bowl of water. You want to charge the water and cleanse yourself after burning your intentions. Hold your intentions over the other bowl and using the candle light them on fire. Like I have already said you will want to analyze how they burn, even take a picture or video to look back on later. Use the water to charge your crystals.

5) At this time you can take some time for yourself however you wish, write down your interpretations of the flame burning, further meditation, possibly a tarot reading if you do that, you can even enjoy a glass of wine. Tell the Moon you love her, clean up your space and now is a good time to put your crystals in a window sill to charge under the light of the full moon. You have just completed your full Moon ritual. Now can be a good time to take a detox bath. Use bath salts, flowers, crystals and maybe even a charcoal mud mask to help detoxify and destress.

I hope you guys enjoy doing this ritual and can find some peace or healing that you may be needing in life. I also hope you can take some time to appreciate all that is good in your life. Just like the oceans’ tides that ebb and flow as does the Moon wax and wane and although emotions can be heightened during the full Moon you will soon feel back to your normal self and ready to tackle a whole new month/Moon cycle. On the 13th I will put out my Full Harvest Moon in Pisces blog post. There is also a new Moon in Libra on the 28th of September so stay tuned for my blog post on what to expect and how to perform a new Moon ritual. Happy full Moon friends!

New Moon in Virgo Ritual

There are some really ancient rituals that have been done for 1000s of years. A lot of different astrologers and healers use these types of things to help people with the difficulties of life. You can do a ritual for all kinds of different things but some popular times to commit to doing a ritual is during new moons, full moons and during the equinoxes and solstices. If you really enjoy doing them then you can start to do a ritual for other things you need in life. It can be very therapeutic. The power of manifestation is a crazy thing and that’s why these rituals are important.

The new Moon moves into Virgo on August 30th at 5:38am. We have what is referred to as a New Black Moon which basically is the second new Moon of this month, and is something a bit more rare than your typical new Moon which we usually get once a month. It is also the culmination of both Mercury Retrograde and eclipse season which has deeply been affecting those of y’all with Cardinal signs (Cancer, Libra, Capricorn, Aries). Things may have seemed heavy for awhile now but from this point on we should be moving forward and feeling a sense of relief and renewal. We set intentions for the month on the new Moon to be clear and concise about what we like to achieve. The new Moon in Virgo asks us to focus on your health and wellness, gym and fitness goals, studying, back to school, organization and getting back into that strict routine that fall brings us here in the Northern Hemisphere. It’s no coincidence that back to school time is right when Virgo season begins. It really is the perfect time for back to school in so many ways. Virgos are the mutable earth sign of the zodiac. Extremely disciplined, intelligent and organized. Incredibly self sacrificing and loyal. Will do anything for a loved one. On the other hand they can be very critical of others and even more so of themselves. Perfectionism is huge for Virgos and despite it being a good quality to have it can also bring stress and pressure not only for themselves but for those who have to deal with you. This really is the best time to perform a new Moon ritual. I always find the summer is crazy and hectic. The routine goes out the window, you drink more than normal and Virgo season is the perfect reset into your normal day to day life routine.

You have 3 days before and 3 days after the new Moon to perform this ritual.

1) Gather any and all supplies that you will need for the ritual. You can use sage to smudge beforehand, crystals you will need (amethyst, aventurine, chrysocolla, howlite, labradorite and moss agate), a journal to write, a bowl to smudge in or burn intentions, and a candle. I will be using the plants from my garden to sage this time just because it seems like a good fit for the last of the summer. I would recommend using a yellow or orange candle because yellow and orange are associated with Leo. If not a white candle will work.

2) Create yourself a special alter space for all the items that you have gathered. It doesn’t matter where your alter space is, it can be any table in the house or on the floor, wherever you feel most comfortable. Decorate with items such as crystals, plants, candles, things you find outside in nature like leaves or feathers, decorative table runners, anything you can really think of that seems appropriate. I will be using sunflowers that I harvested from the Sunflower Expo last week, amethyst, labradorite, selenite, my growing cactus and other things that feel very earthy and Virgo to me.

3) Start by smudging your alter space and say a little prayer. It can be along the lines of “I respect mother moon and all she does for us. I take this time to set honest intentions. I manifest all that is good and bright and light. I have the power to change my future. I will let go all that no longer serves me. I am totally and completely alined spiritually. I am in tune with my higher powers. “ Write down your intentions or wishes. focus on them, meditate on them. What do you wish for your life? Can you actually picture these things happening to and for you in your life? The manifestation WILL NOT work if you truly don’t believe it. It’s important to be clear on what you want. You can doodle and make your intentions “pretty” or you can just be as simple as writing a list. Some new Moon in Virgo intensions would be: I will focus on my health and mental well being. I will make the gym my priority and go so and so many days during the next coming weeks. I will clean and organize any and all spaces that feel weighed down and cluttered. I will be the best student I can be and utilize my time efficiently for study and learning. I will detox and start eating healthier. I will take a break from alcohol or any mind altering substances etc. Use the word WILL, over and over, reiterate it. As I said before it won’t work unless you truly believe. There are of course the typical ones for manifestation as well; make lots of money, lose weight, be a better person, better mother, better friend, etc. You can manifest whatever your heart desires truly. These are just some examples of Virgo themes.

4) Light your candle. You will write your intentions down into your journal. You will start off by writing down the goals and desires you have for this new month ahead of you. You will ask for the guidance in doing this. Don’t let fear or ego hold you back any longer. Next you will write about your wishes for the next month. What do you desire above all else. This is the perfect month to focus on yourself and your true desires. Now is the time to be realistic and focus on the things you truly need to accomplish in order for your dreams to manifest entirely. You will light the paper on fire and watch how the fire burns your intentions. Maybe it burns fast or maybe it fizzles out fast or maybe it burns slow and smouldering. This seals your desires and puts them out into the universe.

5) At this time you can take some time for yourself however you wish, further meditation, possibly a tarot reading if you are into that, you can even enjoy a glass of wine. Tell the moon you love her, clean up your space and take the crystals to bed with you. You have just completed your new Moon ritual.

I hope you guys enjoy doing this ritual and can find some peace or healing that you may be needing in life. I also hope that you manifest your deepest desires and this Moon month goes exactly how you wish it to. Now is the time for action and to put forth effort into achieving your goals. Use this positive energy towards achieving so much more than you even think is possible. It was a really tough summer for a lot of us but September is brand new and we have a whole opportunity to go forward and start fresh. Happy new Moon! The full Moon will be September 13th in Pisces. Stay tuned for further blog posts on Virgo season and the full Moon in Pisces.

An Open Letter to my Third Baby

Dear 3rd,

I found out about you two days after Christmas.

I wasn’t sure that I wanted you. I was scared and exhausted and it was horrible timing.

After weighing all my decisions, thinking it through, the thought of ending your little life and it being my decision was heart wrenching. Yes you were only a clump of cells, but you were MY clump of cells.

I fell in love with you and decided that if fate wanted me to have another baby I WOULD have this baby.

I told your brothers and your oldest brother, Jaxson, eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. For the most part I told no one else though. Not even family.

I was worried about being judged. I didn’t know how to explain why I would have 3 kids so close together.

I was terrified of what the next few years had in store...

Our house wasn’t big enough, I needed a new car. I basically wouldn’t be going back to work at this point. Would I get any sleep? Would I ever get to travel with my husband again? Even have a night off with him? Would I ever be myself again? 2 kids was hard but manageable. Would 3 completely change things for us/me?

So many things decided for me in an instant.

I love being a mom, but I also love being me. The paradox that is a mother. 

One thing was certain though I knew I loved you and wanted you. I’d always wanted 3 kids and a big close family of my own. Something I didn’t have growing up. 

I knew you would be a girl. I had your name picked out and everything. 

I got a midwife! I was so excited for a different pregnancy and labour experience. I got a birth photographer! Never did I do maternity photos with my boys and knowing this would have been my last pregnancy I wanted to document everything. I planned for a milk bath, and an in depth birthing photography session. I was so excited to do it all.

I should have known when I was having the easiest first trimester ever. No morning sickness, no exhaustion, I could hardly tell I was pregnant at all. I was working out almost every day. Something I was not able to do with my other pregnancies, and they were easy pregnancies.

As horrible as the timing was finding out I was having you, it couldn’t have been worse timing finding out I lost you. 

In Kelowna, alone, on one of the biggest days of daddy’s career. What a ride that was. 

And just like that you were nothing but a memory, a piece of my broken heart and a “what could have been.”

It’s been months since that day. Today was your due date. It’s crazy to me that you would have been born any day now (likely later since both boys were) and our family would have been complete. 

Like I said I left it up to fate whether you would be my third baby and I guess the universe had other plans for you. 

I think about you everyday. Who you would have looked like? If you would have had hair like your brothers? Blue eyes like the boys or green like mine? Was I right in thinking you were my baby girl? My little Virgo princess. They say your children inherit your zodiac signs and my Virgo moon can attest. 

I see you on a dreary day. I see you in the Mountains. Really I see you anywhere beautiful, untouched and in nature. I see you in Monarch butterflies. Something that is becoming rarer to see these days. But every time I see one I always think of it as a sign from you and you telling me you’re where you are meant to be.

Some days have been a lot easier than others but I can for certain say that this has been one of the hardest years of my life. Also one of the best years in a lot of ways, but the vulnerability, anxiety and hormonal roller coaster I have been on is way out of my normal realm. You truly flipped my world upside down and changed things for me. 

You also lit a fire inside me. You made me strong enough to pursue my dreams and passions. Things I’d always wanted to do but put off forever, I now felt I could do because of you. I started writing again, I started my own business. All inspired by you. Losing you, my baby, gave me the courage to start my creative baby and in a way it’s been the most amazing and beautiful thing. Despite the hardships it’s been the most personal growth I have gone through in a long time. 

I know how to put my foot down now, whereas before I would have let people walk all over me. I know how to protect my space and keep toxic relationships at a distance. It doesn’t mean I love these people any less, but I know what is right for myself and my own personal mind/body/spirit. 

It is all because of you. 

You made so many things possible for me that I had only dreamed of doing. And I thank you so much for all the lessons you taught me. 

Today we celebrate you. Who you would have been, the person you would have blossomed into. Despite you not making it earth-side your spirit will carry on and continue to guide me. 

One day I hope to have a daughter and I hope you will watch over both of us. I will feel less fear knowing that your sacrifice was enough to allow me time to be ready for a third. 

Although I am not healed from this experience, and I don’t know if I ever fully will be, I am grateful for it. And we love you so much. I’ll see you on the other side of the stars baby. 

Love, 

Mommy

Full "Sturgeon" Moon in Aquarius Ritual

There is a full moon in Aquarius coming up on August 15th at 7:31am CST, which is Thursday coming up next week. The energy is heavy and electric with 4 planets also currently retrograde including the most recent, Uranus which rules Aquarius. This is an amazing time to do a full Moon ritual. Full Moons are a time where emotions and sensitivities are already heightened, it is a good time to ground yourself and release some of the negative emotions you may be feeling and toxic ties you may be attached to. There are some really ancient rituals that have been done for 1000s of years. A lot of different astrologers and healers use these types of things to help people with the difficulties of life. You can do a ritual for all kinds of different things but some popular times to commit to doing a ritual is during new Moons, full Moons and during the equinoxes and solstices. If you really enjoy doing them then you can start to do a ritual for other things you need in life. It can be very therapeutic. The power of manifestation is a crazy thing and that’s why these rituals are important.

The full Moon will be in the air element of Aquarius. Full “Sturgeon” Moon, known as sturgeon Moon because this is the time of year when sturgeon are more easily caught. Aquarius is ruled by Uranus the planet of freedom, revolution, chaos, unique expression and change. They are typically unconventional souls. I always think of Aquarius as my little weirdo alien friends. Analytical, original, humanitarian and very independent. They are a fixed sign however and because of this are prone to stubbornness but also incredibly loyal to those they love. Despite their loyalty to the ones they love they can come across as cold and aloof. Emotionally detached, they are not ones to express themselves very well in matters of the heart. Use this full Moon to celebrate your eccentricities, challenging the status quo, thinking outside the box, starting a revolution, owning your genius and sharp mind and innovative action. Letting go and cutting toxic ties are always the number one theme on full Moons. Truths and lights will be illuminated as well.

Whereas we perform new Moon rituals to set wishes and intentions for the month ahead of you, the reason we do a full Moon ritual is to let go of things that no longer serve you. This could be attitudes, emotions, personal relationships, bad habits, illnesses. Anything you can think of that is negatively impacting your life. Things that have been hidden can also be revealed. Revelations and people being exposed. You can count on it for a full Moon. I like to burn my full Moon ritual intentions. It can be very symbolic and healing. You can also interpret the way your paper burns, so if your intentions light up instantly and burn the paper completely you have truly let go or maybe the fire fades quickly and only burns off a corner, what do you think that is telling you? Focus on the flames and how the paper looks at the end of it burning.

You have 3 days before the new moon to perform this ritual or 3 days after.

1) Gather any and all supplies that you will need for the ritual. Incense such as You can use sage to smudge beforehand, I will be using White Sage for this full Moon. You will need some crystals (amber, amethyst, amazonite, angelite, aquamarine, hematite and moonstone), a pen, a journal to write, a bowl to smudge in or burn intentions, a bowl of water and a white or black candle.

2) Create yourself a special alter space for all the items that you have gathered. It doesn’t matter where your alter space is, it can be any table in the house or on the floor, wherever you feel most comfortable. Decorate with items such as crystals, plants, candles, things you find outside in nature like leaves or feathers, decorative table runners, anything you can really think of that seems appropriate. For the Aquarius full Moon I will be using lots of amethyst, my creepy doll head candle holder, Oogie Boogey Man and my Moon succulent planter that I recently purchased. I really wish I could use something alien or extraterrestrial like but unfortunately I do not have anything like that. So I used Oogie Boogey Man instead, bonus points to you if you can guess where he is from (leave me. comment and let me know). I also really wanted to use my own personal smudging bundles but they aren’t quite ready yet so next month.

3) Start by smudging your alter space and say a little prayer. It can be along the lines of “I respect mother Moon and all she does for us. I plan to release that which no longer serves me. I do this to heal myself from past traumas and to fully let go and move forward.“ Write down your traumas and the things that we wish to let go of focus on them, meditate on them. What do you wish for your life? Can you actually picture these things happening to and for you in your life? Letting go WILL NOT work if you truly don’t believe it. It’s important to be clear on what you want. You can doodle and make your intentions “pretty” or it can be as simple as writing a list. This is a good time to set intentions for letting go of limiting thoughts and beliefs, letting go of what isn’t working for you and reevaluating a new plan. Even if your ideas are eccentric and out there don’t be afraid to be unapologetically you. Think outside the box and look for radical solutions to the problems you are facing. This can also be a time to let go of toxic people and attachments in your life, or negative mindsets in general not just to do with Aquarius. If you are going through a rough time now would be the best time for you to perform a full Moon ritual.

4) Light your candle and put your crystals in the bowl of water. You want to charge the water and cleanse yourself after burning your intentions. Hold your intentions over the other bowl and using the candle light them on fire. Like I have already said you will want to analyze how they burn, even take a picture or video to look back on later.

5) At this time you can take some time for yourself however you wish, write down your interpretations of the flame burning, further meditation, possibly a tarot reading if you do that, you can even enjoy a glass of wine. Tell the Moon you love her, clean up your space and now is a good time to put your crystals in a window sill to charge under the light of the full moon. You have just completed your full Moon ritual. Now can be a good time to take a detox bath. Use bath salts, flowers, crystals and maybe even a charcoal mud mask to help detoxify and destress.

I hope you guys enjoy doing this ritual and can find some peace or healing that you may be needing in life. I also hope you can take some time to appreciate all that is good in your life. Just like the oceans’ tides that ebb and flow as does the moon wax and wane and although emotions can be heightened during the full moon you will soon feel back to your normal self and ready to tackle a whole new month/moon cycle. On the 15th I will put out my Full Sturgeon Moon in Aquarius blog post. There is also a new Moon in Virgo on the 30th of August so stay tuned for my blog post on what to expect and how to perform a new Moon ritual. Also stay tuned for a blog post on how to protect your space and your heart from energy vampires. This is knowledge I feel everyone can use.

Jupiter Retrograde Over, Uranus Retrograde Start

Hey all. I am sorry for my lack of writing. I love to write and have tons of ideas but I also have recently started an at home business that kinda goes hand in hand with my blog and find I have less time for writing now. Especially as some of my work requires me to type up documents that can be quite lengthy and take up a lot of my time. On top of that I am not going to lie, this summer has been incredibly heavy for me. I am so happy and fulfilled in a lot of ways but there has been some personal things that I have been going through that have been really hard for me. The biggest one being the baby that I lost in February. We are quickly approaching what would have been my due date, August 25th. There is a lot I have not personally dealt with and I feel a sense of anxiety the closer we get that date. I think about that little baby every day and I don’t know if it is something I will ever truly get over. But I do believe it has contributed to some of my vulnerability and anxiety. I will write about it again one day soon, maybe as a form of therapy, or maybe as a tribute to that baby but either way stay tuned for an update soon.

Back to what this original post was intended for, yet again we have another planet about to be retrograde. Luckily Jupiter and Mercury have gone direct so the intensity that has been this summer because of 5 retrograde planets will be lessened slightly. Jupiter actually has gone direct today meanwhile Uranus is now retrograde all in the same day. Refer back to my Jupiter retrograde post back 4 months and see if there is anything you can relate towards, or if there is anything you learned. Uranus however, the planet of revolutionary enlightenment, the planet that is associated with change, revolution freedom and inventive power. The planet that helps us grow and develop into the people we are supposed to be. When this planet goes retrograde it can really shake things up for us, on a personal level and on a global level as well. Think changed beliefs, reassessing our personal values, independence and truths. A personal and inner revolution. Uranus is currently in the earth sign of Taurus. This sign is in its detriment in Uranus. Taurus does not like change and is slow moving. The unexpected changes that are associated wth Uranus do not sit well with fixed and stubborn Taurus. These two conflicting energies will clash no doubt, but also causing us to restructure existing commitments. Retrogrades as always are a period of resetting, reflection, reassessing, personal growth and as always confusion associated with that planet. Because this retrograde is Uranus in Taurus we will certainly be reassessing matters of finance and security/relationship (Taurus) and expect disruptions, upheavals, a need for freedom and enlightenment. Look to where Taurus is in your chart for further information on what to expect. Not only those with Taurus placements but those with planets in fixed signs will be most affected by this retrograde period, Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius. I would definitely anticipate the removal of toxic relationships, this can even include something as serious as a break up or divorce. But also some good may come from it like creating a budget that works for you and thus bringing more income and money flow to you. or the realization that you no longer need to hold on to toxic attachments thus removing people who no longer serve a purpose in your life. Uranus, the 7th planet of the sun, will not hit as intensely as say a Mercury or Jupiter retrograde which are both closer to Earth and faster moving planets. The effects will be more subtle but still be mindful of this period of time. Uranus will go direct on January 10th, 2020, five months later and an entirely new decade. As always do not fear retrograde periods rather use them to your advantage and really thoroughly think about what it is you actually want during this period of time. You have the time to think it through.

Take care of yourself friends and I promise to write more in the next few weeks. Thanks for all he continuous love and support as I have hit over 1800 views on this blog. Which makes me happy that despite not writing for 2 weeks I still have people coming and viewing what I have written in the past. I love to share some of the wisdom I have gained over the years with things that I am incredibly passionate about and also little tidbits of our lives. Thanks for continuing to read and support. Love always and remember for this retrograde period to set yourself free.

New Moon in Leo Ritual

There are some really ancient rituals that have been done for 1000s of years. A lot of different astrologers and healers use these types of things to help people with the difficulties of life. You can do a ritual for all kinds of different things but some popular times to commit to doing a ritual is during new moons, full moons and during the equinoxes and solstices. If you really enjoy doing them then you can start to do a ritual for other things you need in life. It can be very therapeutic. The power of manifestation is a crazy thing and that’s why these rituals are important.

The new Moon moves into Leo on July 31st at 10:12pm. We have what is referred to as a New Black Moon which basically is the second new Moon of this month, and is something a bit more rare than your typical new Moon which we usually get once a month. It is also the culmination of both Mercury Retrograde and eclipse season which has deeply been affecting those of y’all with Cardinal signs (Cancer, Libra, Capricorn, Aries). Things may have seemed heavy for awhile now but from this point on we should be moving forward and feeling a sense of relief and renewal. We set intentions for the month on the new Moon to be clear and concise about what we like to achieve. The new Moon in Leo asks us to focus on self care, ourselves, our creativity, our wants and desires, self confidence and the pleasures in life that make YOU truly happy. Not anyone else but yourself. The focus should always be on yourself during Leo season. There is also a somewhat childlike quality to Leos and this is also a really good time to get in touch with your inner child and do something fun. Leos are the fire, fixed sign of the zodiac. They are outgoing, courageous, confident, playful, creative, passionate, cheerful and just overall positive. They make incredibly loyal friends and partners. Step out of your comfort zone, do something that will benefit you and overall have fun! July has been one helluva ride, especially for those of y’all with Cardinal signs. The next month ahead is going to be soooo much better I promise. Life can be very hard at times, and astrology, though it might not be able to take away the pain you go through, at least it can give you a heads up. Being better prepared can help with how you react to your pain. It was a tough month for me, even knowing how tough it was going to be. But this new Moon is exactly what I, and I think a lot of people, need. August is going to be great.

You have 3 days before and 3 days after the new Moon to perform this ritual. I am really happy to have some back to normal energy for awhile because I didn't really do any manifesting last month considering all the craziness of the eclipses. It is good to get back into my magickal work.

Handbook for the Recently Deceased - Amazon
Mystic Mondays Tarot Deck - Mosaic Books Kelowna, BC
Oracle Deck - Distant Caravans in the Forks Market
Crystals used: Citrine, carnelian, amethyst, black onyx, moonstone, optical calcite, hemamtite and selenite
Abalone shell - The Forks
Ceramic bowl for burning sage and paper made by my mother
Cedar Stone Heart Healing Space body mist - Marshall’s
White pillar candle - IKEA
Sage - Both from the Forks and a metaphysical store that is no longer open
Basil flowers, Salvia flowers and tomato leaves from my garden outside

1) Gather any and all supplies that you will need for the ritual. You can use sage to smudge beforehand, crystals you will need (amethyst, carnelian, citrine, howlite, labradorite and onyx), a journal to write, a bowl to smudge in or burn intentions, and a candle. I will be using the plants from my garden to sage this time just because it seems like a good fit for the last of the summer. I would recommend using a yellow or orange candle because yellow and orange are associated with Leo. If not a white candle will work.

2) Create yourself a special alter space for all the items that you have gathered. It doesn’t matter where your alter space is, it can be any table in the house or on the floor, wherever you feel most comfortable. Decorate with items such as crystals, plants, candles, things you find outside in nature like leaves or feathers, decorative table runners, anything you can really think of that seems appropriate. I will be using plants from my garden as this seems very appropriate for the time of year. I will also be using heart clearing mist because I really am needing it bad.

3) Start by smudging your alter space and say a little prayer. It can be along the lines of “I respect mother moon and all she does for us. I take this time to set honest intentions. I manifest all that is good and bright and light. I have the power to change my future. I will let go all that no longer serves me. I am totally and completely alined spiritually. I am in tune with my higher powers. “ Write down your intentions or wishes. focus on them, meditate on them. What do you wish for your life? Can you actually picture these things happening to and for you in your life? The manifestation WILL NOT work if you truly don’t believe it. It’s important to be clear on what you want. You can doodle and make your intentions “pretty” or you can just be as simple as writing a list. Some new Moon in Leo intensions would be: I will focus on my wants, desires and needs, I will focus on self care, my creative endeavours will flourish, I will strengthen myself mentally, physically and spiritually, I will take time to get in touch with my inner child and do something fun, I will find something playful and humorous in the mundane day-to-day. Use the word WILL, over and over, reiterate it. As I said before it won’t work unless you truly believe. There are of course the typical ones for manifestation as well; make lots of money, lose weight, be a better person, better mother, better friend, etc. You can manifest whatever your heart desires truly.

4) Light your candle. For this ritual I definitely recommend using fire as Leo is a very fiery sign. You will write your intentions down into your journal. You will start off by writing down the goals and desires you have for this new month ahead of you. You will ask for the guidance in doing this. Don’t let fear or ego hold you back any longer. Next you will write about your wishes for the next month. What do you desire above all else. This is the perfect month to focus on yourself and your true desires. Now is the time to be realistic and focus on the things you truly need to accomplish in order for your dreams to manifest entirely. You will light the paper on fire and watch how the fire burns your intentions. Maybe it burns fast or maybe it fizzles out fast or maybe it burns slow and smouldering. This seals your desires and puts them out into the universe.

5) At this time you can take some time for yourself however you wish, further meditation, possibly a tarot reading if you are into that, you can even enjoy a glass of wine. Tell the moon you love her, clean up your space and take the crystals to bed with you. You have just completed your new Moon ritual.

I hope you guys enjoy doing this ritual and can find some peace or healing that you may be needing in life. I also hope that you manifest your deepest desires and this Moon month goes exactly how you wish it to. Now is the time for action and to put forth effort into achieving your goals. Use this positive energy towards achieving so much more than you even think is possible. It was a really tough month for a lot of us but August is brand new and we have a whole opportunity to go forward and start fresh. Happy new Moon! The Full Moon will be August 15th in Aquarius and I will be posting an astrology update later on today as well talking about the end of Mercury Retrograde and eclipse season. Stay tuned for all!

The Signs, the Elements, the Modalities

I’ve been really inspired recently especially over astrology. There has been a lot going on in my life personally and I am not going to lie my mental health has been suffering slightly. For the first time in my life I seem to be getting these bouts of anxiety in which I have never really had them before. I am attributing it halfway to being much more aware of what is happening in the stars. The other half I attribute to being much more aware of my own self. That is beside the point but it inspired me to write this blog post. I talk a lot about astrology, full Moons, new Moons, eclipses, retrogrades. It’s all a lot of information and I know that I have many readers now (over 1500!) and I am sure some of what I say makes sense but a lot is quite confusing. Especially if you are not at all familiar with the terms I use. In this blog post I am going to do a brief overview of each sign, the elements they are grouped into and their modalities. So here goes.

To start off I want to talk about the signs. I will write down all 12 signs and then 3 adjectives to decribe:

Aries: energetic, optimistic, independent

Taurus: grounded, sensual, loyal

Gemini: expressive, adaptable, social butterfly

Cancer: sensitive, nurturing, mother of the zodiac

Leo: positive, proud, confident

Virgo: health conscious, organized, detail oriented

Libra: fair, harmonious, people pleaser

Scorpio: dark, mysterious, cunning

Sagittarius: adventurous, philosophical, charismatic

Capricorn: hard working, ambitious, money oriented, father of the zodiac

Aquarius: free spirited, intellectual, original/unique

Pisces: intuitive, compassionate, empathetic, psychic of the zodiac

Next I want to talk about the elements. There are four elements when it comes to the zodiac: earth, air, fire, water. This is very basic astrology and everyone should at the very least know this fact above all. All 12 signs are divided into these elements. Fire signs: Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. Earth signs: Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn. Air signs: Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. Water signs: Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces. I find the popular mix ups amongst the signs and element are that Aquarius is a water sign because it is referred to as the “water bearer” and Scorpio is a fire sign. Each of these signs has qualities that are associated with the elements. Fire signs are passionate, action oriented, quick tempered and generally positive. Earth signs are grounded, stable, loyal, dependable and chill. Air signs are intelligent, social, quick witted, somewhat emotionally detached and somewhat aloof. Water signs are highly emotional, sensitive, intuitive, creative, compassionate and nurturing, Not to say that an earth or fire sign can’t be sensitive and intuitive or a water and air sign can’t be grounded and dependable. It all depends on the full natal chart. And likely you have all if not most of the elements in your natal chart. Sometimes you will find you are lacking in some areas and these are the areas that you should work on in order to develop yourself as the best version of yourself you can be. For example, most of my natal chart is earth, air and fire. I am lacking water and despite being a very grounded and stable individual, I do have trouble expressing myself emotionally at times. It also, I think, is why I am so drawn to the water. I am making up for what I am lacking.

Now I want to talk about the modalities. This is something I often talk about and I am sure this one goes over people’s heads. As well as the signs being grouped into elements they are also grouped into modalities. There are three modalities: cardinal, fixed and mutable. This has nothing to do with the elements but rather groups similar characteristics of each sign together to form the modalities. Despite not being the same element they still have lots of similarities. Cardinal signs: Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. Fixed signs: Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius. Mutable signs: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces. As you can see each modality has one of each of the elements amongst it. Each quality is linked to a particular point in the season. The cardinal signs initiate the season, fixed signs hold it steady and strong and the mutable signs finish things up, and prepare for the seasonal change ahead. Cardinal signs assert themselves and make really good leaders. They are really hard working, ambitious, insightful and self motivated. Fixed signs share the trait of being stubborn. Fixed through and through, it is hard for them to change when their mind have been set. Mutable signs are adaptable, flexible and very sympathetic. They can easily change and are not afraid of change.

That is basically the gist of this blog post. I wanted to do something simple that you would be able to understand. This is the best place to start if you want to learn astrology and understand your own personal natal chart. Do you see yourself in the descriptions that I described for the elements and modalities? What about your actual sign? Do you identify with it at all? Remember there are 10 planets in our galaxy and each of them was in a specific sign during your birth so this makes all the difference when identifying with your own personal horoscope. I will be making a post soon on natal charts. It is something that I personally have started to sell for people because I have gotten quite good at interpreting them with much practice. I do want to share some of my wisdom though if only to help and inspire someone else. Please comment your sign, element and modality and let me know how you identify with it.

Full "Buck" Moon Lunar Eclipse in Capricorn

Hey y’all, here we are again. I find each month goes by quicker and quicker as it leads to the full Moon. Maybe I am just so much more aware but I feel like I was just doing my new Moon ritual the other day. The summers are always so crazy energetically because every summer we usually deal with multiple planets retrograde, the eclipses and of course you add a full Moon into that mix and its an explosion of energy and emotions. Today at 4:39pm central, the Moon will reach peak fullness in 24˚ of Capricorn. Technically it is not exactly a full Moon however because of the impact of the lunar eclipse which severs the lunar cycle slightly. As I have come to learn, do NOT manifest during an eclipse. This will not affect your full Moon ritual because this is actually the optimum time to release negativity and toxic ties. Check out my other most recent blog post on how to perform a Full Moon Ritual for release. Capricorn is the Cardinal, Earth element sign of the zodiac. Ruled by Saturn which represents commitments and responsibilities. They are extremely hardworking, with focus on drive, money and of course responsibility and commitments. They are strong, steady and grounded. A bit pessimistic and melancholic at times. Can come off cold to others or emotionless at times but they are actually quite warm especially to those they are close to. This energy is a nice balance to all of the crazy and emotional Cancer and eclipse energy. The earthy energy will definitely help to ground things slightly despite the eclipse and retrograde planets. We may have a nice little 2-3 day break from the emotional overload we have been experiencing. But this isn’t to say to let your guard down completely because there is eclipse and retrograde energy coming at us from all angles. I will not sugarcoat it, there can be some really intense and difficult times during astrology. This is all a part of life and the process. Right now we are going through it. Especially for you dear Cardinal signs: Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. Think intense anxiety, irritability, mood swings. Some of us are having extremely dark thoughts or fears that may be due to previous experiences. Intense anxiety. Do not latch onto the past because of how afraid you are of the present and especially the future. The anxiety is normal and it will pass. Practice grounding techniques, use crystals and essential oils for healing, and if need be accept you may need stronger and medical help if your anxiety is out of control. If you are not personally feeling this energy, that is amazing, again like I said it will likely be Cardinal signs. But you may find that your loved ones are going through it and in this case you must definitely be there for them. Eclipses always trigger circumstances that you otherwise wouldn’t expect until months down the road. Time becomes skewed and speeds and distorts our perception which is why coping during eclipses can be difficult. This will trigger you to let things go, which also goes hand in hand with full Moons as well. This doesn’t even necessarily mean people, but let go of your fears, anxieties and worries. Especially in Capricorn I find this is an amazing time to do this. Responsibility and commitment are at the forefront right now. Often times a lot of anxiety comes from these 2 things. My recommendations, especially if you are going through it, do a full Moon ritual for releasing negativity and toxic ties. Make sure to take care of your body, do some self care and of course remember to eat and drink lots of water. Take a cleansing bath or submerge yourself in some sort of water. The water will help to ground you. Practice other grounding techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, yoga, painting. Whatever it is that helps you feel sane in trying times. Lots of naps! Eclipses are either a very sleepy time or the opposite and you will be suffering from insomnia. Either way make sure to get enough rest. Remember that both full Moons and eclipses expose what we wish not to see. It exposes our fears, our neglect and nightmares. There are a couple rough transits currently happening as well which doesn’t make any of this any easier. Pluto and Venus Saturn conjunct which makes our trust in others lessened and hinders our ability to ask for help or support. Isolating ourselves can be very real, especially in difficult times when you need someone the most. Despite the hardships during this time your feelings are completely valid and you must feel through it and process it in order to grow. Growth happens when we deal with our pain. Check on your friends and loved ones, especially those with Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn placements. Even if you are not feeling it, chances are someone you know is and even just showing up for someone else can make all the difference. Practice grounding techniques, do a full Moon ritual and take care of yourself and others. This will pass and soon enough things will be back to the way they were. These 2 weeks in eclipse limbo have been a trip and this is the end of eclipse season for now. This too shall pass. And soon. Take it all in stride and do whatever you need to get through. And on another note I would also like to add that this lunar eclipse will not be visible unfortunately in Winnipeg. Mostly Europe and Asia. But it will still affect us. Take care you beautiful souls and please look after yourselves during these difficult times. Happy full Moon.

Full "Buck" Moon in Capricorn Ritual - July 16

There is a full moon in Capricorn coming up on July 16th at 4:39pm, which is Tuesday coming up next week. It is also coinciding with a partial Lunar eclipse. The energy is heavy and electric with 5 planets also currently retrograde. Buckle up because this one is going to be one crazy ride. This is an amazing time to do a full moon ritual. Full moons are already a time where emotions and sensitivities are already heightened, it is a good time to take to ground yourself and release some of the negative/toxic emotions you may be feeling. There are some really ancient rituals that have been done for 1000s of years. A lot of different astrologers and healers use these types of things to help people with the difficulties of life. You can do a ritual for all kinds of different things but some popular times to commit to doing a ritual is during new moons, full moons and during the equinoxes and solstices. If you really enjoy doing them then you can start to do a ritual for other things you need in life. It can be very therapeutic. The power of manifestation is a crazy thing and that’s why these rituals are important.

The full moon will be in the earth element of Capricorn. Full “Buck’ moon, known as buck moon because this is the time of the year when deer would start to grow their antlers. Capricorn is ruled by Saturn the planet of rules, commitments, structure and responsibilities. They are hardworking, grounded, stable and loyal. They can come off a bit cold, distant, melancholic and pessimistic at times. They are very concerned with their financial position but will work the hardest out of any of the zodiac to achieve their goals. Work horse of the zodiac, Capricorn is known as. The best way to channel this energy is to put it towards work and financial matters. If there is any sort of toxic work situation, or debt weighing down on you, now is the time to let that shit go. Do not let money worries drag you down no longer. It it a good time to fully embrace your dreams, see the truth of every matter at hand and absolutely always protect our hearts from negativity. Letting go and cutting toxic ties is always the number one theme on full Moons. Truths and lights will be illuminated as well.

Whereas we perform new moon rituals to set wishes and intentions for the month ahead of you, the reason we do a full Moon ritual is to let go of things that no longer serve you. This could be attitudes, emotions, personal relationships, bad habits, illnesses. Anything you can think of that is negatively impacting your life. Things that have been hidden can also be revealed. Revelations and people being exposed. You can count on it for a full moon. I like to burn my full moon ritual intentions. It can be very symbolic and healing. You can also interpret the way your paper burns, so if your intentions light up instantly and burn the paper completely you have truly let go or maybe the fire fades quickly and only burns off a corner, what do you think that is telling you? Focus on the flames. For the purposes of this full moon I will also be adding an element of water to include the Scorpio symbolism. Using my bowl of water while I chant to the moon.

You have 3 days before the new moon to perform this ritual or 3 days after.

1) Gather any and all supplies that you will need for the ritual. Incense such as You can use sage to smudge beforehand, I will be using Palo Santos as I was recently gifted some and it seems very fitting. You will need some crystals (black tourmaline, amethyst, fluorite, garnet, onyx, malachite or tigers eye), a pen, a journal to write, a bowl to smudge in or burn intentions, a bowl of water and a white or black candle.

2) Create yourself a special alter space for all the items that you have gathered. It doesn’t matter where your alter space is, it can be any table in the house or on the floor, wherever you feel most comfortable. Decorate with items such as crystals, plants, candles, things you find outside in nature like leaves or feathers, decorative table runners, anything you can really think of that seems appropriate. For the Capricorn Buck Moon I will personally be adding some greenery from West Hawk Lake, and also some Canadian Shield slates that are located all around the property. I will likely use a couple other things that I can gather from outside, and I will be doing it at the cabin which I think is appropriate for this time of year.

3) Start by smudging your alter space and say a little prayer. It can be along the lines of “I respect mother moon and all she does for us. I plan to release that which no longer serves me. I do this to heal myself from past traumas and to fully let go and move forward.“ Write down your past traumas and the things that we wish to let go of focus on them, meditate on them. What do you wish for your life? Can you actually picture these things happening to and for you in your life? Letting go WILL NOT work if you truly don’t believe it. It’s important to be clear on what you want. You can doodle and make your intentions “pretty” or it can be as simple as writing a list. This is a good time to set intentions for letting go of any money or career issues that are currently happening in your life. Take control of your financial situation. Let go of any debt that is weighing you down

4) Light your candle and put your crystals in the bowl of water. You want to charge the water and cleanse yourself after burning your intentions. Hold your intentions over the other bowl and using the candle light them on fire. Like I have already said you will want to analyze how they burn, even take a picture or video to look back on later.

5) At this time you can take some time for yourself however you wish, write down your interpretations of the flame burning, further meditation, possibly a tarot reading if you do that, you can even enjoy a glass of wine. Tell the moon you love her, clean up your space and now is a good time to put your crystals in a window sill to charge under the light of the full moon. You have just completed your full moon ritual. Now can be a good time to take a detox bath. Use bath salts, flowers, crystals and maybe even a charcoal mud mask to help detoxify and destress.

I hope you guys enjoy doing this ritual and can find some peace or healing that you may be needing in life. I also hope you can take some time to appreciate all that is good in your life. Just like the oceans’ tides that ebb and flow as does the moon wax and wane and although emotions can be heightened during the full moon you will soon feel back to your normal self and ready to tackle a whole new month/moon cycle. On the 16th I will put out my Full Buck Moon in Capricorn blog post. This will also be coinciding with the eclipse, affecting those with cardinal signs the most, Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn. There is also a new moon in Leo on the 31st of July so stay tuned for my blog post on what to expect and how to perform a New Moon ritual.